Sarang is ?

So many times , I asked myself ,
why , when it comes to love , I just totally is a irresponsible person .
Who only knows how to regret , after I lost it .

Yes , I'm too young for that , but who , in this Earth , doesn't seeks to be loved ?
Forget about that . & yea , one question :
Why do couples always quarrel ? & it's like , they don't do that when they are not together; but both like each other .

I know the answer , but it's my own answer .
That's because , when a girl & a guy is in love but NOT together ,
you don't belong to that someone ; as in not devoted .
But when you're together , you have to be committed ,
& that's when the other half , usually the guys , feel that the girl's presence is for granted .
I'm not saying guys are usually the ones , but most of the case it's like that .

Somehow being in love & not together is what most girls want ;
But being together is what most guys want .
That's my opinion .

How do you define a good boyfriend ?
Someone who is always there for you ?
Or one that always stick with you ?
Or maybe one that can fulfill all your wants & needs ?
Personally , I feel that as long as being together with that someone can make you happy ;
even without seeing him , or being next to him , you can have the sense or security ,
I think he's the one for you .

Not only that , he must really understand you .
Telepathy doesn't mean everything .

I'm talking so much , & yet , it doesn't get to the point about what I want to say .
I feel that I've totally changed .
I cry whenever you said something wrong .
Or rather , when I feel like crying .
I can cry because I miss you .
& why ? Why is a short text message so important to me ?
& friends , are they some kind of disturbance ?
Am I giving in enough ?
Why do I always think so much ?
I just feel that I can't be secured , it's like , total different feeling when we were not together .

I don't think I should give up my friends just because of a boyfriend .
Last night , I told you william replied me , & you replied ,
as though you wanted to quarrel with me .
In the end , you didn't reply again .
I can tell you now , I asked william out .
He asked me why am I weird , I told him maybe I am not happy .
& the reason for asking him out is because I know he can cheer me up no matter what .
Despite the things he did , I still treat him like he's my best ever friend .

I don't know why you guys don't like him ,
but I just feel happy for at least I know , he's still my friend .
He once told me , I was his only friend .
I found that rather true , maybe because of his character .

I don't know why am I saying so much .
I need a place for me , to get all these out to you ,
or whoever that is interested .
I have plenty more things to say , but I think it's pointless .
Maybe I should tell Jasmine , since she always want to hear me rant .

Another 4 days to one month .
I don't think we'll be celebrating it .
Maybe I really shouldn't care so much whether you reply me or not .
Or whether you are out with who ,
talking to which girl , can go out with me or not .
I think I care too much .
If one day , my tears have gone dry because I'm numb ,
I'm sorry love , for I have already given up on you then .

Sorry for saying all these ;

I really don't know what you see in me.

& what is the purpose of being your gf .

Looking back at the days when we're not together ,

I somehow feel that you treat it more seriously .

Bianehyo.