Because Of You*

30th January 2008.

It has been 2months & 4days since we're together.

Many ups&downs happened.

& I think it's time to end all these pains.

No doubts we've once bid farewell to each other,

Now that we're back together,

We still cannot change the fact that we're going on with our lifes without each other again.

What has went wrong here? Was it because I was too demanding?

Because I'm not a good girlfriend? Because your friends meant more?

Cut away all those ' Because ' , It seriously meant nothing.

All those sweet messages you used to sent me,

kept inside my inbox, I'll view it whenever I'm down,

trying to just cheer up a little, but now, everything seems so empty.

Because I know, all these messages don't even exist anymore.

I've got the urge to hate you, but I found out that I don't even have any feeling towards you.

I can't hate you, I can't feel happy to see you & I can't love you.

I feel silly when I think of the past, when I'll try to make time just for you,

by changing dates with my sisters or leaving them immediately for you.

It used to be you love me more than I love you.

Slowly it turns to I love you equals to you love me,

& now it's I love you more than you love me.

From the " I sms you, you reply or more " policy,

It turns to " I sms you, with no replies " thing.

You will always make time for me, now I must wait for you.

There is too much difference in Before & After, that it all just seems like a " One-Man-Show "

I'm the one directing everything, acting it all out alone & you're the one watching.

I can't lie that I still will think of you as and when, I'll just close my eyes,

there you are, in my mind.

You said I meant more, all those seems to be numerous lies.

Loving me till I don't love you, I guess it's just the other way round.

I've learnt my lesson.

No matter how hard I try in every relationship, I'll just fail.

I've told someone before, I'll treasure & love the guy in my next relationship when I was single.

Yet, it came down to nothing.

Things still happened, it was all meant to be.

Perhaps another girl has stolen away your heart.

Or maybe you got influence by your friends.

I guess it's pointless to say anymore things.

If one day everything will go back how it use to be, maybe I'm dreaming already.

Last of all,

Thanks for being such a nice boyfriend in the past.

Tolerating all my moodswings, nonsense & so.

Thanks for making me once so fortunate girl in love.

& Thanks, for the memories.

I'll take no time to think about it if you say You love me again..